There’s ups and there’s downs. That’s as scientific an explanation as I can eek out at the moment. Maybe I’m on the wrong dose of smart-drugs. Bumping up my dosage isn’t much of a solution – you can only go so far with that. Some days I just feel sluggish. If I take a break from the drugs, I won’t leave the house. If I take a day off of the Modafinil / Adderall / Ritalin etc, I don’t feel different at all – I just don’t leave the house. Certainly not to work on any projects, anyway. How can I get something done without stimulants? I wouldn’t know which foot to step with first. Left or right? I could happily waste a whole day calculating the merits of each. By the time I decide which foot should start the stepping, the sun will be going down.
It is in this misty fog that I forced myself up a ladder. A decision about my feet could not be made, so I hastily shoved them both out the front door. I poked around with a rattly tape measure and promptly cut a useless triangle out of plywood. That’s when the decisions got heavy. Should I drive to the store to get another sheet of plywood? (I could get coffee on the way back and take a break in the parking lot to watch cars drive by!) Should I keep working with the other sheet of plywood that I have and go to the store later? Could I skip buying more plywood, and use several scrap pieces to get the coverage that I need?
I must admit, a decision could not be made. I bumbled around a little bit longer. I cut one triangle correctly, and affixed it to the framing with about half the screws it would eventually need. Faced with the task of scooting the ladder over another six inches, I decided to hang it up for the day. It would be getting dark in about six hours anyway.