You know what? I think I’d like to gut my whole house and start over. I keep making these baby-steps improvements, and it seems like each one is a tiny compromise adding up to a compromised heap. The heater takes up too much prime real estate, and so does the fridge. But I have the copper lines run already, and the big holes cut in the wall. If the bathroom were a teeny bit smaller, we could fit a better couch. I haven’t been happy for a single moment with my choice to install drywall.
I woke up happy today. I woke up late as rain fell from a gray sky, and I remembered that my therapy appointment had been moved to ten o’clock. Maybe I’m happy because I’m leaving soon. Or maybe it’s because I decided to lighten up on myself and forgive the multitude of intertwined debacles which I’ve been collecting and arranging like dominoes. The bottom line is, everything is fine and I’m thankful that I finally noticed. My only challenge is to remember: everything is fine. Peachy, even.
I started writing here to show my process and progress with building my tiny house. Around the time I finished the exterior is when I stopped knowing what to do next. The process of framing is very straightforward. Once you finish one step, there is no question or confusion about what to build next. The interior is different. I am awash in choices and possibilities, none to few of which I can actually afford. So for now, I’m done.
We have lights, heat, refrigeration – we have a cozy bed, and we can charge laptops. We have a house. It’s not the perfect house, and the options for improvement are many. But we have a house, and I can honestly say it’s a pretty cool one. My goal was to learn, and I’ve done that. I’ve built walls, connected wires to batteries, and bent copper tubes for propane. I learned 99% of what I wanted to learn, and the rest doesn’t intimidate me in the least. I accomplished what I set out to do. It took a year and a half, and I have one more important piece of advice that I need to follow: ease up on myself. Sounds good.
The future of my house is as uncertain as its genesis. By force of will, I made this thing happen. My parents want this house eventually gone. They still think some code enforcer is going to bust up the party while squawking into a walkie talkie or something. That won’t happen. But I want the house out of here too. I want to install myself on greener pastures. I want my own space under my own control. I will get there in time. Impatience and frustration will not turn the wheels any faster.
I am excited to take some time off to get a fresh perspective. The year 2015 sounds like a great time to assess the situation and plan the next move.